A Letter To Us Women Known As Side Chicks
This is for all the girls out there, who have striven for love, searched high and low, worked their asses off to keep men interested in them, so that they did not lose hope in finding love.
This is for all of us “side chicks.”
Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t have any pride in being a side chick whatsoever, but its 4am and I’ve had a long night of thought in which i finally realized just how naive I have been all this time.
I was fed bullshit, and never got answers from the men I have known for years, the ones who I thought were my friends. And I’ll give them this, maybe they do care.
But caring is not enough anymore and I am taking a stand right here and now.
What is it to be a side chick? Well look at it this way, I fell in love with men who were already involved with other women. Of course when I met these men, the women that are considered their main chick, weren’t so when it began.
There are two men in particular that I closely identify with and have been giving it up to, for my own selfish reasons, not thinking twice about the consequences or the true meaning behind my actions.
One is now married with two children, the other a serious committed relationship who I identify as my best friend. When I met these men, (at separate times) they were single. But over the course of the past 7 years, I have used these men as a scapegoat, and they have done the same with me.
I have been the most hopeful romantic out there, always reverting back to these men in times of need, when I felt unwanted or unattractive. Sounds pretty damn immature doesn’t it?
Funny thing is, no matter how old you are, everyone craves these things. (And a good fu** as well)
I set myself up for 7 years, over and over, repeating the cycle until this distances between me and these men grew, and their relationships seemed to blossom even though they would still talk to me.
I used to ask them and myself, why doesn’t anyone want me, all of me, every day, all the time. I thought it was my fault that I wasn’t GOOD ENOUGH for these amazing men to be married to, or serious with me.
Today I have learned why, and it saddens me, makes me angry, and makes me shameful that I let myself become that type of person.
Well its taken 7 years, about two weeks before my 24th birthday to realize, that I am so much more than I thought, and I LET these men distract me from the true problem.
I didn’t love myself. I chased men that showed me as much love as I felt that I deserved. And I am not the only person in the world who does this or has done it.
Obviously I didn’t see myself as worthy of these men, cause if I did, I would have severed the ties, and moved on. I would’ve waited, but until now, I never fully realized how special I truly was, without someone telling me so.
So take a stand “side chicks” Get out of that relationship now. Whether its physical, emotional or both. It’s not healthy. And no one likes a home-wrecker.
The more thought I pour into it, the more disgusted I have become with my past actions.
But right here and now at 4:22am, I am making a vow, to hold myself up to higher standards, to enjoy being alone, carefree, and finally I am going to focus on the most important person in my life…me. Cause to these men, I have it all, I’m carefree, I lack the same responsibilities but I look at them with such envy for having families, homes and grown up lives.
To them, I’m an escape from reality, I’m the life they could have lived, but they chose otherwise and now feel stuck.
After tonight, I won’t be able to look at men the same, especially those who would risk a marriage, family and reputation by having a side chick.
So take care and see you never.